


A Pain undone

by Makookoo_MK



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Character Death, F/F, I'm Sorry, M/M, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-03 06:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8700670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makookoo_MK/pseuds/Makookoo_MK
Summary: when Simon is abandoned by all his friends and has nowhere to go, he gets kidnapped. Again. This time, Camille doesn't keep him but rather passes him to someone else. For three years and four months, he's been tortured, both physically and emotionally. What happens when the Shadowhunters, Vampires and Magnus try to find him?





	1. A Torture Most Unwelcomed

It still hurt to think about it, him being alone. Abandoned and forgotten. Perhaps it was for the best, he couldn’t hurt anyone from here nor would he have to go through the pain of losing his once best friend and everyone to the grim reaper. It still hurt to think about his three families. One by blood, one by life and one by the undead. His mom and sister. Clary, Jocelyn and Luke. Raphael and the clan. He hopes that they’re all happy, content with their lives. It hurt too much to think about any of them, even Isabelle, Jace, Alec and Magnus. Especially Raphael. Thinking of him hurt the most. Of all the things he regretted, he regrets that the most. The what ifs. This cage that he made for himself, he deserved it. He deserved every moment that Valentine and Sebastian’s fanatics tortured him. He couldn’t even remember what they were torturing him for but it had something to do with his friends and he had caused enough pain on them to allow anything else to happen to them. Not when he could help. For them, he would gladly lay down his life, again, and spend the rest of eternity being tortured and sneered at. There was noise coming from outside, footsteps and Simon rushed to wipe the tears away, he would not allow his captives to know that they were winning.

“well, well, well, hello Simon. Ready for your daily, or should I say nightly? Routine?”. It was the brutal one again, a Shadowhunter, one that the clave probably thought was dead. Simon didn’t know his name, but he could smell the angel blood and burnt skin caused by runes. There was no reply, Simon learnt long ago that if he talked, he’d get beaten twice as hard. It was odd, to say the least, that it worked, and Simon felt no need to talk, content to stay withdrawn in his own head, instead of rambling constantly like he once did. That felt like decades ago. Now he never talked and the only sound he made was when he screamed, although it took a lot to make him scream, nowadays. It was like he was immune to pain; he couldn’t feel it anymore. He wondered if the shadowhunter fanatics knew this or if he just enjoyed created burns and cuts with holy metal, stakes, the sun and holy water. If using David’s Star and other Jewish symbols made the shadowhunter feel joy. Although, he should probably be thanking the shadowhunter for using Jewish symbols. They no longer burned him to the point where he couldn’t pick them up and he could now say god’s name without choking.

A stake went through his hand. And then into the other. Holy metal was dragged down his arms. Simon couldn’t feel it. He was too far gone. He could feel the Grim Reaper beckoning, whispering in his ears. Holy water was poured over his body as Simon counted how long he had been here. Three years and four months. Why hadn’t the shadowhunter gotten bored and killed him already? Except, he had, hadn’t he? It took him a year to stop asking the questions, two years for him to work out that he might get a reaction if he attacked someone close to Simon. Those days were the most painful to remember, memories that haunt his waking moments and images that lurk in his nightmares. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, knowing that the person who raised you was dead because of you. It was a cruel irony that Simon couldn’t stop. His mom’s disgust and hatred burning in her eyes and the fear in Rebecca’s. She was supposed to live a happy life, married with kids to a person she loved before dying in her sleep. He had begged, he had pleaded with his tormentor to let his family go, to let his mother and sister live. He had even been willing to betray his friends! Not that it worked, the shadowhunter had just grinned his predator-like grin and slaughtered them in front of him, going as far as to offer him their blood. Simon supposes that that’s another thing he should be grateful of. He could last for two weeks before he had to drink blood, something that takes other vampires decades to achieve, sometimes centuries.

The shadowhunter, of course, knew this, and resented the fact that he had helped Simon in any way. “I think what amazes me the most is the fact it’s been over three years and none of your so called ‘friends’ have even given you a second thought”. The shadowhunter laughed, he knew he’d always get a reaction from that, even if it was just a quick flash of agony.


	2. As Tragedy Sets In

It took exactly three years and two months for the clan, and Raphael, to forgive Simon. Three years and two months of turning around, ready to scold someone who wasn’t there. Three years and two months of patiently waiting for Simon to start rambling about whatever it was that had him excited, only to remember what he had done. It took that long for the vampires to give in and admit that they were just being prideful, stubborn creatures and that they weren’t really mad at him. How could they be? Simon was clinging to his mundane life, something every newly turned vampire did. Besides, with Camille’s mysterious death that left the vampires in a confused but relieved mess, he didn’t really do that much harm compared to the rest of the clan, at least he hadn’t killed anyone. They did, of course, understand that by allowing Simon back into the clan, they would have to get used to the smell of angel blood and werewolf stench.  
Which was how Raphael and Lily found themselves at the Institute, waiting for the Shadowhunters to return.  
“They knew we were going to be here at this time!” hissed Lily, clearly irritated and impatient for the Nephilim’s arrival. She had been a strong believer that Simon deserved to come home.  
Raphael was about to reply but the sound of breathing and beating hearts kept him silent. The Shadowhunters threw open the doors, apologising and saying something about a demon. Simon wasn’t with them.  
“Why are you here? Is it Simon? Is he okay?” The orange haired girl interrupted, her voice cracked at the end.  
“What do you mean? Where’s Simon? What have you done?” Lily blurted out before Raphael could say anything. He knew that she had enjoyed looking after Simon and befriending him. He was different. Optimistic. And it gave her something to do.  
“Simon hasn’t been here in almost three years” the dark haired boy said. Magnus’s boyfriend, Alec.  
Clarissa bit her lip, obviously wanting to add something, so Raphael sent her a questioning glare and the truth very quickly came tumbling out.  
“I might have told him to go away for a bit. I was worried, okay?! I didn’t want to hurt him anymore but I did. I made him betray you guys, I’m the reason he’s a vampire! The reason he’s part of this world now and the rest of eternity! I thought that if he disappeared, my father wouldn’t try to directly find him and kill him. He had a better chance of surviving if he wasn’t with me! But now I don’t even know if he’s alive!” She had started crying in the middle of it, distressed at what she had done but Raphael didn’t care. How could she be so stupid?  
“You abandoned a newly turned vampire who has no control over his actions, knowing that he had nowhere to go. In a city full of Mundanes?” Raphael angrily bit out.  
“Yes?” Clary hiccupped, her voice quivered and Isabelle quickly moved forward to comfort her.  
“¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpida?” Raphael hissed at her before stalking from the room. Lily gave the Shadowhunters her best death stare before chasing after him. It wasn’t long before they came to an abrupt stop outside of Magnus’s. Raphael raised his hand to knock and Magnus opened the door in all his glittery glory and, with a flourish, ushered them inside.  
“Ah, Raphael! Lily! Lovely as ever to see you” Magnus chirped, leading the vampires to his lounge room and poured them both a Bloody Mary. The vampires didn’t move to accept the drink, choosing to glare at the Warlock instead.  
“Why didn’t you inform the clan about Simons disappearance, Bane?” growled Raphael.  
“I tried, my dear, but you just wouldn’t listen. I mean, every time I even hinted about Sherman, you ran off! What would you have done if you were in my position?” Magnus sighed dramatically.  
“Can you please track him already?” Lily exclaimed, stopping the two friends from arguing before it got too bad.  
“What makes you think that he wants to be tracked? Or even, if he wants to be back in the clan?”  
“We can still feel our link to him, telling us that he still thinks of us as his clan, that he has not joined another clan. Through this link, we know that he is alive.” Raphael clarified. Magnus raised an eyebrow.  
“Anything Samuel still has lying about doesn’t truly belong to him anymore, and thus, normal tracking won’t work. Quite a shame really” flippantly retorted Magnus.  
“Well, is there some other way to track him?” Lily asked, exasperated.  
“Yes but I’ll need the entire clan to be here, don’t worry, it shouldn’t hurt any of them”  
Raphael narrowed his eyes. “Shouldn’t?”  
“I haven’t tried the spell, personally, but it is in the Book of the White”. Magnus held his hands up in mock surrender.  
“fine, how long do you need to be prepared?”  
“We can do it as soon as everyone from your clan is here”  
Raphael nodded to Lily and in a flash, she was gone to round up the clan and bring them to Magnus’s. Raphael turned around and looked at Magnus, whose gaze was unreadable.  
“Old friend, why do you wish to find Sybille so badly?”  
“Simon” Raphael corrected before continuing, “I swore to look after him and he’s just a fledgling”  
“Is that the only reason?” Magnus wiggled his eyebrows with a knowing smirk.  
“That is the only reason, Magnus Bane” Raphael snapped back.  
“Whatever you say, Santiago”  
~~  
“Right, so, everyone!” Magnus clapped his hands, gaining the attention of the entire clan and the Shadowhunters, who had gotten here around about the same time as the vampires. “I want all the vampires to link up into one big circle around the map with Raphael in the middle”  
“And that’ll track Simon?” It was the orange haired one again. Raphael huffed in annoyance. She sounded anxious but hopeful. Which was irritating, why would you tell someone to go away and then be happy about their return?  
“Hopefully. It won’t work if too strong of an emotion is blocking the signal.” Clary scrunched her nose up in confusion. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She snapped her mouth shut and walked over to Isabelle. The way their hands linked together immediately didn’t go unnoticed by anyone in the room. By the time the exchange between the warlock and the shadowhunter girl was finished, all the vampires were their respective places. Magnus clicked his fingers, his blue fire appeared instantly, surrounding the giant map that was placed in between the vampires and underneath Raphael. Magnus started chanting in a language foreign to all who were not the offspring of demons. The fire flickered and the vampires reached out for Simon, embracing their connection with him, strengthening the spell. Abruptly, the vampires started screaming in agony and the link was broken immediately. The map burned to dust. Raphael suppressed a whimper at the sudden burst of pain, keeping his face carefully blank. The pain he was going through was only a phantom, a sliver, of what Simon was actually feeling. That knowledge did not settle well with any of the vampires and fuelled their need to find Simon. Raphael didn’t know how long he sat there in shock and didn’t notice Magnus until he was right in front him.  
“The spell won’t work, there are too many strong emotions blocking the spell. Some of the younger vampires passed out so I sent your clan home, telling them that I would do everything in my power to find Simon. Your clan looked desperate and angry” Magnus told him, calmly. They didn’t speak calmly to each. They always mocked, taunted and used sarcasm whenever they spoke.  
“What happened?”  
Noise filled Raphael’s head as Clary shrieked questions. He snapped.  
“Why do you care so much? Aren’t you the one that pushed him away in the first place? Made him do your bidding and then abandoned him? And now, because of your idiocy, he is in a lot of pain and we don’t know where he is or what he’s been through!” Raphael was yelling towards the end and was pacing back and forth. He seemed truly worried. Clary flinched at his words and was about to shout back but Magnus shooed them into a portal and sent them to the institute.  
“We will find him, Raphael, I promise” Magnus was there instantly, unnerved by this side of Raphael. It’s a side that he’d never seen before.  
“Prometí cuidar de él, Magnus. Lo prometí y ahora está en tanto dolor” Raphael whispered.  
“Lo sé”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if the Spanish is awful - I never learnt it and I'm relying heavily on google translate.
> 
> Prometí cuidar de él, Magnus. Lo prometí y ahora está en tanto dolor = I promised that I would look after him, Magnus. I promised and now he’s in so much pain.  
> Lo sé = I know  
> ¿Cómo puedes ser tan estúpida? = How can you be so stupid?


	3. Of Despair And Desperation

It was hard to sleep, the first few days. No one could say anything. A bleak abyss shared by mutual understanding of pain and loss. Their baby was hurt and alone in a cruel world that didn’t care. As days turned to weeks and weeks turned into months, their anger and determination turned to despair and desperation. No one knew where Simon was. No downworlder in the entire world could find him. Not the vampires, certainly not the Shadowhunters, none of the werewolves could pick up his scent and the Seelie’s couldn’t be trusted after what they did. None of the warlocks answered Magnus’s fire messages and his library of thousands of books all contained useless information. Simon was lost, for all eternity. The clan had failed their fledgling. Their baby. The clan sat in the council room that was once filled with Simon’s chatter, doing nothing, saying nothing. No one knew what to do or how to fix this and now that a month and a week passed with no new knowledge being gained, the clan truly began to feel the loss. The loss of optimism. The loss of sound that was always coming from Simon. The loss of infinite questions and rambling. The loss of friendship. No one except for Raphael, Lily, Stan and Elliot had actually spoken to the fledgling but he was a part of their family. It’s always hard to lose someone that you consider family or even a friend. The clan had always prided themselves on their family, and, despite what was known about them, they knew when someone was worth it. They knew that Simon was extremely loyal, loyal to the point where he’d give up his own happiness if it meant that someone he cared about got theirs. Simon had, unknowingly, wormed his way into every vampire’s heart and embedded himself into the hotel. It felt way too silent without his ramblings being heard from every room. It was as if the Hotel Dumort also grieved the loss called Simon.   
~~  
It was only a week later that a saviour, also known as Tessa Grey, came by and with her, a flicker of hope. A flicker of maybe. It wasn’t quite the solution they needed but it was something. She had dropped by Magnus’s with a potion. A potion that would allow them to see what Simon spent the last three years, three months and two weeks doing. It might grant them access to his surroundings by retrieving his memories. If they could work out where Simon is, or even what happened to him, they would be able to find him. Magnus had called Raphael, Luke and the Shadowhunters immediately and it didn’t take long for them to get here. Raphael arrived with Lily, Stan and Elliot at the same time Luke did. It was odd, to say the least, that the smell of the werewolf didn’t make them hiss like it used to. Over the past month, Luke had become a very determined, strong believer that they would find Simon. It was clear that he loved the boy as much as a father would. Finding Simon had caused a truce among the two species that was very different from past truces. Tessa Grey placed the potion into a cauldron and while Magnus prepared it, she told them that all it would need was a drop of blood from a vampire in the same clan as him. Raphael instantly bit his wrist and gave Magnus his blood before going back to his pacing. Tessa left with the echoes of the groups gratitude still ringing in her ears. Magnus snapped his fingers, poured Raphael’s blood into the potion and watched as the cauldron disappeared and was replaced by a mirror made of smoke. The Shadowhunters, Magnus, Luke and the vampires sat down and watched the mirror play out the last three years of Simon’s life.  
~~  
“Just get lost Simon! We don’t need you here, in fact, it might be better if you left us alone, please?” Clary had sighed while Izzy looked on. She couldn’t help it but he was getting on her nerves, perhaps it was best that they went their separate ways. She already lost Jace and her mother was still asleep, she didn’t know what she’d do if she lost Simon too. She ignored the guilt that threatened to smother her as Simons face flashed with pain and betrayal.  
“and go where, Clary? The vampires kicked me out, Magnus doesn’t want me at his place because all he wants to do is screw Alec.” – Alec choked and flushed with embarrassment– “I have no money and I can’t trust myself near mundanes” Simon whispered, his voice cracking with hurt.  
The guilt became harder to ignore; she had done this to Simon but she needed him to leave. To keep him safe.  
“I don’t know, okay? Figure it out for yourself!” She needed him gone. If he said anything else, she will break down. Simon gave her one last look, filled with betrayal, despair and pain.  
“I thought you were my friend. I thought we were in this together, I guess I got played the fool” And just like that, he was gone.  
~~  
Simon was walking down the road, heading towards Java Jones, it was usually open all night. A street light flickered but that was normal. Completely normal.  
“My little caramel, how nice of you to walk alone. Makes it easier for me to get my property back” a voice drawled in the darkness, Simon didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.  
“Camille, for the last time, I’m not your ‘little caramel’ nor am I your property! Just back off!”  
Camille laughed. “it doesn’t matter what you think, soon enough, you’ll be dead. This time for good”  
When she said that, three of Camille’s goons jumped on him and everything turned black.  
~~  
When Simon woke up, he was in, what looked to be, a personal library with a desk at the front. The nerd inside of him leaped with joy, until he remembered what had occurred.  
“you’re awake, my little caramel, I was getting bored”. Simon looked up at Camille. She still wore the outfit he had last seen her in. When he had betrayed Raphael.  
“I thought you were going to kill me?” Simon sighed, he didn’t care anymore. He wanted it to be over, he was done. He had nothing left to live for, anyway.  
“I was going to, but then I got an interesting proposition. Now I have a deal for you. You will meet with my business acquaintance and I’ll leave New York, how about that my little caramel?”  
“How about you leave America, or better yet, die for good?” Simon asked dryly.  
“Consider this, you signed the Writ of Transmutation which means Raphael never took over my clan and had me falsely imprisoned. I can very easily convince the Clave to kill him” Camille laughed when Simon flinched.  
“What do you want?” Simon sighed.  
“You’ll meet with this person and you won’t try anything. You won’t call out, you won’t try to escape, you won’t try to kill me or this business acquaintance, not that it would be any good. In exchange, I’ll leave Raphael and the clan alone”  
“And Magnus”  
“Fine, do we have a deal?”  
“yes but it has to be a blood contract. That way you have no way of going back on your word.” Simon smirked when he saw the anger that flashed across her face. He wasn’t that stupid and he had actually listened to Raphael when he was teaching Simon about the Vampire world.  
Camille frowned, weighing up her choices before agreeing and stalked out of the room.  
~~  
“Contracts been signed” Camille hissed, obviously displeased, “now come”. She pushed him along some sort of corridor where she was met by a man. A rogue Shadowhunter.  
“A deals a deal, you have Simon, now you have to fulfil your side of the deal” Camille said, smiling with delight.  
“I don’t have to do anything, downworlder” snarled the Shadowhunter.  
Camille’s smug smile disappeared instantly as the shadowhunter shoved a stake into her chest. Camille gasped before turning into a pile of dust. Dead for good. Simon laughed bitterly at the irony despite being horrified. He felt his sire link disappear. It was as if a part of him was being torn off but it wasn’t necessarily all bad, at least he was finally free of her.  
The shadowhunter grinned murderously at Simon before moving forward very suddenly and knocking him out.  
~~  
The first few weeks were the most brutal. The pain was relentless and the Shadowhunters took turns at torturing him. There were three in total. Simon felt sick at the nauseating sweet smell of angel blood and burnt skin. Simon screamed constantly and his throat felt hoarse. After that, he didn’t see a single person for almost two weeks. That was when he lost it. When he gave in and allowed himself to cry until he couldn’t cry anymore. He was lost and abandoned. There was no one to save him this time but he still clung onto the hope that maybe he would be found. That Clary hadn’t meant what she said and would come running through the door to rescue him.  
~~  
Two years had passed. He had long ago given up all hope and had completely forgotten what he was here for. His life before this seemed hazy, a dream almost. The what ifs long gone. The doors banged open and Simon felt every muscle in his body freeze. It was the red haired one again. The brutal one. And he wasn’t alone. He was dragging two very familiar mundanes and shoved them onto the ground, in front of Simon. Everything in Simon screamed. It wasn’t fair.  
“Simon?” Rebecca asked, dazed and hesitant, as if she didn’t truly believe what was happening. She looked over at their unconscious mother. Simon choked back a sob and panic overcome every fibre of his existence.   
“Please don’t hurt them. I’ll do whatever you want, just please don’t hurt my family” Simon whispered, his voice sounded desperate and broken even to his own ears.  
The Shadowhunter growled. “I’ll do whatever I please, downworlder. Wars over anyway so you don’t have anything to offer me in exchange for their safety. In fact, I think I’ll just kill one of them now. Who would you rather die first? Your mother? Or your precious sister?”  
“Please! Please don’t” Simon shrieked, hysteria taking over, his pleas were lost on deaf ears as the Shadowhunter sneered and slit his mother’s throat. Simon felt his body go numb, his mind going into shock, not properly registering what had happened. Rebecca screamed, tears running down her face. There was so much blood and it was everywhere. It pooled around his mother and spread across the floor. Rebecca threw up the second it touched her body but she was held in place by the cruel twisted man.  
“Simon, what’s happening? Simon!” Rebecca cried out, trying to reach out for her brother.  
“You know what Valentine and his son did wrong?” The Shadowhunter smiled, not waiting for a reply before continuing, “They were too ambitious. Both of them too impatient. Their actions caused the Shadow world to fight together. They could’ve achieved so much more if they had caused you all to fight against each other, instead of together. Oh well, it doesn’t really matter anymore. Your so called ‘friends’ are happy without you in their lives, by the way.” Simon barely heard him, he was too busy trying to fight against the chains and shackles of holy metal, too busy trying to find a way to protect his sister that he didn’t hear him continue. “I lost my entire family and all my friends in the single moment Clarissa Fairchild killed her brother. And now, because of her actions, you’ve lost yours.” The shadowhunter then promptly shoved his sword into Rebecca’s chest before stalking out of the building.   
“Simon…” Rebecca started talking, only to be cut off by coughing. She was coughing up blood. “Please… whatever you do, do not blame yourself for our deaths… mom loved you… and so do I” She finally rasped out before smiling softly at him and fell forward. Simon couldn’t hear her heart beat no matter how hard he tried. Simon screamed, tears running down his face. He screamed and screamed as all his despair and anguish exploding from him. He never felt as broken and alone as he did in that moment.  
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry” Simon wailed over and over again.  
~~  
“Oh my god” Clary gasped out in between sobs, “what have I done??”  
No one moved a muscle, too shocked to do anything. They just looked at the agonized Simon. Decades could’ve passed and no one would have noticed. It was Elliot who broke the silence.  
“Do you know who that man was?”  
The Shadowhunters shook their heads.  
“I do.” Everyone turned to stare at Luke.


	4. Trauma and Broken Happiness

Luke had paled quite significantly and he looked very shocked.  
“His name is Aiden Ravenscar. I thought he had died. I thought that I had killed him” Luke paused, taking deep breathes, “he was… is… a strong believer that downworlders are no better than demons and that mundanes should be grateful, that they should bow down and kiss the floor as shadowhunters walk by”  
“Ravenscar?” Alec frowned.  
“He was the last of his family. He was a quiet kid, always doing what he was told to do and kept to himself a lot. He stayed as far away from Valentine as he could but then one day, he just kind of flipped around. Became loyal to Valentine, believing every word that he uttered like a dying man clutching at straws. I never found out why he changed his mind”  
“Okay, so, we look into the Ravenscar’s family past and try to find out everything we can about Aiden and his family. From there, we try to work out where he is”  
~~  
Isabelle groaned and slumped her head down onto the book she was reading.  
“This is hopeless! It’s been a week and we still don’t know where Aiden is holding Simon!”  
“Izzy, chill, there has to be someone who knows something” Alec’s eyes flicked towards Izzy before going back to his book.  
“Alec, it’s been a week of reading and asking around. Surely there’s something we’re missing”  
“He’s been missing for three years now, I don’t know what to do, okay?” sighed Alec.  
“Three years, three months and three and a half weeks”  
“what?”  
“That’s how long he’s been missing. It’s driving Clary insane and she won’t stop thinking about it! She refuses to be happy until we find him! It’s infuriating and I can’t help her, so we need to find him” Isabelle clutched the table, her knuckles turning white. A purple portal suddenly appeared and Magnus came tumbling out, dragging a vampire with him.  
“Good news! I think Zekey here” – Magnus flailed his arms in the vampire’s direction – “just figured where Simon could be!” He blurted out immediately, grinning excitedly.  
“What? Where?!”  
“Another realm or dimension, that’s why we haven’t been able to track him and why no one has heard anything about it! It’s because he’s not even in ours!” Magnus puffed out, magic ready to go.  
“So how do we find him?” Zeke demanded.  
“Magic, darling, magic” Magnus smirked.  
~~  
“Will this spell work, Magnus, will it tell us where Simon is?” Clary demanded immediately upon arrival. She had repeated this question four times now and Raphael huffed in annoyance. It had been exactly three years and four months since Simon went missing.  
“Clary” Alec warned.  
“Don’t worry, biscuit, the spell will seek out the Simon who belongs in this realm and then I will open up a portal into said realm-“Magnus was cut off by Isabelle’s question.  
“Can you do that? That’s incredibly powerful”  
“I can do it, I am, after all, the son of a Prince of Hell. Now as I was saying, there is a downside – I can only open it up long enough for myself and one other person to go through and then go back with Simon.”  
“I’m going with you” Raphael said instantly, daring any one to say otherwise.  
“No. I am going with him! Simon’s my best friend!” Clary challenged. Isabelle pushed her back, telling her no, let Raphael do it. Clary ignored her and glared at Raphael, her Seraph blade clutched in her hands. Raphael didn’t blink, he just narrowed his gaze to glower at the shadowhunter.  
“He’s better off if I go in. He needs a clan to strengthen him and he’ll need blood. I highly doubt that he was fed properly. So he’ll be hungry and he won’t know who you are”  
“And what makes you think I’m just gonna trust him with you? You put a death warrant on his head, remember?” Clary raised an eyebrow.  
“And you abandoned him when he needed you the most, or had you forgotten?” Raphael snapped back, sufficiently shutting Clary up. Magnus nodded and prepared the spell.  
Ten minutes later, a swirling green and blue portal appeared and Magnus and Raphael stepped in.  
~~  
Realistically, Raphael knew that Simon would not look good but he hadn’t prepared himself for what he did see. Simon was sitting, slumped down in a titanium chair with holy metal handcuffs, shackling him to the chair and chains wrapped around his chest and the chair. His hair was mattered and long and he was covered in burns and cuts. He had a stake through each of his hands and Raphael couldn’t help the shocked ‘¿Qué te ha hecho?’ that escaped his lips. At this sound, though, the shadowhunter stepped forward to fight the warlock and vampire. He didn’t look like a sane person. Magnus and Raphael began fighting the man and it didn’t take long for him to be on the ground.  
“kill me. Let me die in dignity” the crazy shadowhunter laughed. Magnus snapped his fingers and the man slumped forward.  
“Let’s get Simon out of here”  
The metal burned Raphael’s hands but he didn’t care, if Simon could deal with them, then he could too. Once the fledgling was free of his restrictions, Raphael picked up the barely conscious boy bridal style, remembering the last time he had carried Simon like this. Magnus picked up the Shadowhunter on the way back to the portal.  
“sorry I ruined another jacket of yours” murmured Simon, pulling Raphael out of his thoughts.  
“my what?” Raphael stared at Simon incredulously, he was positive that he had heard incorrectly.  
“your jacket. I was wearing it when… when it happened”  
“I don’t care about the stupid jacket, Simon. I’m taking you to Magnus’s. Now shut up and rest, idiota” Simon clung to Raphael, burrowing his head into the older vampire’s shoulder. Raphael walked into the portal and into Magnus’s apartment. Simon sat up and screamed. In a flash, he had curled into himself, in the corner furthest away from everyone. A flash of hurt flashed across Clary’s face. Magnus looked alarmed but was too exhausted to properly do anything and he slumped into Alec. They took the Shadowhunter to the institute to inform the clave and left. Clary began walking towards Simon.  
“Simon, Simon. It’s me, Clary. Your best friend, remember? I won’t hurt you” Clary sobbed.  
Simon just whimpered and flinched away from her. His eyes were closed. Raphael placed himself firmly in the way, blocking Clary from taking another step.  
“Clary, perhaps its best if you come here” Isabelle said, stepping forward to grab Clary’s arm and push her back. Clary jerked her arm out of Isabelle’s grip and walked closer to Simon.  
“Simon, it’s me, okay? It’s okay. You’re safe, Simon” Clary was only steps away now. Simon flinched. He wasn’t seeing a girl with long orange hair, he was seeing a man with short orange hair and a cruel gaze. He couldn’t smell anything except the sickening sweet smell of angel blood. It was everywhere and every instinct was telling him to get away. He ran into a Latino man, noticing that he didn’t smell of angel blood and burned skin. Simon leaned into the smell burying his head into his neck. He hadn’t noticed that he was crying until the man was murmuring words in his ears. Simon recognised that the words were spoken in Spanish. It was only then that he had calmed done enough to realise that he had been sped out of Magnus's and away from the smell. Simon cried harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again apologise for the Spanish - I don't know any Spanish.
> 
> ¿Qué te ha hecho? = What has he done to you? (or something along those lines. I hope.)


	5. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for not updating sooner - there were some personal issues.

By the time Simon was taken to the Hotel, his room had been modified so that there were no windows, as a precaution, and told to rest. He didn’t say anything. He just stared, eyes glazing and not fully comprehending anything that was going on around him. Raphael frowned, unnerved by the lack of sound coming from the fledgling. He wasn’t breathing, he barely slept, he didn’t even move. It was like he didn’t truly believe that he was at the hotel, that this is all a dream and he’ll wake up soon and lose it all over again. He stayed like that for the first month, only sleeping when exhaustion forced him to. He only ate when Raphael pushed a glass into his hand and lifted it to Simon’s lips and his eyes couldn’t focus on anything, like he was constantly having flashbacks. The clan was getting worried, they knew that he would never be the same person he was before but they wanted him to feel safe, even if it took decades.  
~~  
Simon seemed to realise, after the few months had come and passed, that he truly was free of his torturer and was slowly making progress. His eyes began concentrating on things for a few minutes each day and he could drink blood without any help. He still didn’t talk but it was improvement. The moment his eyes had focused on Raphael; the clan had almost cried. Raphael barely let Simon out of his sight and was slowly coaxing him to rest but every time he tried, Simon would become overwhelmed by panic attacks. It had helped that Raphael and the Lightwood siblings agreed that if a Shadowhunter went and visited Simon, it would only cause more harm than good. Clary fought that idea at every moment, saying that Simon needed her. Luke visited every day to check on him, to talk about anything and everything, to talk the memories out of Simons head and getting him to focus on the sound of his voice instead. The first time Luke had visited, he had been able to convince Simon to get some rest. Simon woke up half an hour later, screaming and crying. Raphael had been there in a flash, comforting him and wiping away his tears.  
~~  
It was only after four months that Simon first said anything. It wasn’t much. Just Raphael’s name, but some clan members definitely cried this time. Even if Simon still didn’t sleep until exhausted and barely moved, it was improvement. Clary was constantly asking to visit Simon and was getting more frustrated each time she was denied; the vampires were worried that she would do something so they were constantly on the lookout.  
~~  
After five months, Simon finally started walking. He followed Raphael mostly but he was never alone. He still didn’t talk much but he gave small smiles every now and then. He knew that this wasn’t a dream any more, that he truly was free and he was safe now.  
~~  
In the end, they didn’t have to wait very long for Clary to do something. Seven months had gone and passed since Simon had been rescued and Raphael had only just managed to coax him out of the Hotel for a walk in the park, keeping him very far away from the street that Camille had taken him from. He still hadn’t spoken much, only names and ‘thank you’.  
They hadn’t gotten very far from the Hotel when Clary was suddenly running towards them, screaming Simons name. Every muscle in Simons body froze as he whimpered. Before Raphael was able to move him, Clary was standing less than a metre away.  
“Simon, I’m so so sorry, I was trying to protect you, I swear. Please forgive me. Please talk to me. I’m so sorry, if only I had known. Come with me, to the institute, I can protect you there. Protect you from everything, from the vampires who put a death sentence on you, even from a fly. Just please, come with me, I’m your best friend, remember?” Clary was babbling, clutching onto Simons arm. Raphael snarled at her.  
Simon whimpered and brokenly whispered “Raphael won’t hurt me; he never would have” before disappearing. Raphael glared at Clary.  
“I thought I told you to stay away”  
“Simon is my best friend; He needs me, I was there when he was growing up, I know everything about him!” Clary’s voice rose towards the end.  
“You knew everything about the old Simon, the mundane Simon. I know this Simon; I know how to help him. If you truly were his best friend, you would understand that by being around him, you’re only going to make him worse.” And with that, Raphael chased after Simon.  
He found Simon crouched under a tree, crying. Raphael didn’t say anything, only drawing Simon to his chest and rubbing soothing circles on his back. Eventually Simon pulled away, whispering “She’s supposed to be my best friend, but I can barely think about her without remembering what I went through. I’m supposed to be her best friend but all I can think about is how this is all her fault.” Raphael just pulled Simon closer, murmuring words in Spanish. He didn’t mention that Simon just spoke more words in the last minute, than he has in the last couple of months. Neither of them knew how long they sat there, only leaving once dawn threatened to break.  
~~  
After the run in with Clary, Simon seemed finally stopped feeling guilty and worked towards getting better. He talked a lot more and started doing things by himself. He found company and safety with the vampires, with his family. When Zeke had pulled a prank on Lily, Simon had laughed genuinely. Zeke beamed proudly and never let anyone forget that he was the first to make him laugh.  
What surprised most people, was the fact that he became close friends with Magnus and Alec. It had started with Magnus coming to the Hotel to check up on Simon, acting as his therapist. Eventually, Simon went to Magnus’s loft by himself. After the third time, Alec had rushed in, unaware that Simon was there but, instead of having a flashback, Simon had just scrunched up his nose and said that Magnus’s perfume overpowered the smell of angel blood. Alec had laughed as Magnus pouted. After that day, Alec was around a lot more. Subsequently, both he and Magnus began to think of Simon as their son and were very protective of him.  
~~  
Before long, a year had passed and the clan were celebrating with Magnus and Alec and the werewolf pack. For it was a day to celebrate. It was the day they got Simon back. Raphael and Simon were sitting on the roof of the Hotel Dumort, looking up at the stars. They didn’t say anything. They never needed to.  
“I love you” Raphael whispered quietly. Simon turned towards him, seeing the soft, vulnerable look in his eyes. Simon broke.  
“How could you possibly love me Raphael?” Simon fell to the floor, sobbing. “I’m broken and worthless. All I ever do is hurt people. I can’t even be around my best friend without flinching. I’m lost and gone. I don’t even know why you help me. I’m a broken shell of a boy who doesn’t deserve you.” he got up, planning to run as far away as possible but Raphael gripped him tighter, bringing him closer and hugged the younger vampire.  
“Simon, you are not worthless, you could never be worthless. I love you, Simon, for who you are. You could be the most broken man on the planet and I’d still love you. “Te amo y eso nunca cambiará” Raphael kissed Simon’s head and they stayed there, engulfed in an embrace that Simon didn’t know he needed.  
After a while, Simon whispered “I love you too”.  
He was broken and that was okay. It might take him centuries for the nightmares to stop. Centuries for him to stop panicking whenever the smell angel blood or burnt skin reached his nose. But Simon was happy. It’s funny how things turned out in the end. If you told him his story while he was still a mundane, he would’ve scoffed. Or even laughed. His life sounded like a dark fairy tale. A story he would have read, or a movie he’d watch. But it was his life and Simon wouldn’t want his life to be any different. He was happy and that’s what mattered the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Te amo y eso nunca cambiará = I love you and that will never change.


End file.
